Tuesday, May 10, 2016

House in the Wilderness

When I arrived in Zambia this time, I wasn't expecting to begin so soon.

But I've begun, and it's wonderful.

I've begun the ministry I ultimately wish to achieve in Zambia: my dream of building an orphanage, to the glory of God.

Of course, this isn't only my dream. A project of such magnitude requires more than one founder. The originators of this vision are the graduate pastor from IBCZ (see the "Zambia" page), Enoch, and his sister Mildred. These two and their family are the ones I'm staying with during most of my visit to Zambia this time. When I came, I didn't have a particularly solid plan, only expecting to spend time with the family and learn Zambian life skills. However, after I arrived, I learned that their family already owned a plot of land in Kasempa (the town where we want to build the orphanage), and they were ready to get something started.

I was ready too.

Looking at my budget for the trip, I decided I could spare such-and-such an amount to start building, and we traveled out to Kasempa to check out the land. Kasempa is an absolutely beautiful place, surrounded by low, rounded mountains that are green with acacia and pine forests. In itself, it's a very large area with many people, but it has a very rural feel to it, consisting of villages and scattered towns. It would be a wonderful place to grow up, if only we could provide orphaned children with food, shelter, education, and love.

Boy, was I naive three weeks ago. I distinctly remember walking into the bank in Kitwe with Enoch and asking what it would take to open a bank account for an organization.

The secretary was like, "Who do you partner with?"

We looked at each other. "Uh...no one."

"Where are your registration papers?"

"Registration papers?"

"Yes, and how many people are working with you? Who's funding the organization? Where is the building located?"

Et cetera.

We were forced to admit that the "organization" was just three people with a dream and left the bank feeling very naive indeed. Once in Kasempa, we encountered many similar examples of how little we actually knew about what's involved in starting an orphanage. However, through all the people we talked to and all the questions we asked, our naivete turned into something a little more solid. Our minds were expanded, and we began to see the way forward.

Perhaps you've heard the Chinese proverb, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Well, now we've taken the first step, and we're well on our way to taking the second.

Actually, depending on how you define a "step", you could say we've taken our first ten steps and are in the process of taking the next five. In any case, things are moving along steadily. God is opening doors along the way, and He's amazing us with how much He's blessing this project.

So first of all, the name of the orphanage is "House in the Wilderness". It sounds lovely, doesn't it? It's perfect for Kasempa, invoking images of a warm and welcoming home in a dry and dusty land. That's what people will think of when they hear it.

However, at the risk of embarrassing myself, I think I'll admit one thing. The origin of this name is connected with--you guessed it--Joab.

I think if you understand the background behind the phrase "House in the Wilderness", it will have even more meaning than just the immediate impression it creates. In 1 Kings 2:34, the Bible says that Joab was buried at his own "house in the wilderness". At first I just assumed this meant that he didn't receive the honor of being buried with his fathers, but in my extra-Biblical studies about Joab, I found an interpretation of that phrase in the Talmud. There, "house in the wilderness" is interpreted to mean a place that is open and generous to all, free of robbery and licentiousness. A safe, pure, and generous home is just what I want "House in the Wilderness" to be.

And if the Rabbis in the Talmud were correct, then as "House in the Wilderness" will be, so was the house of Joab. It's an extra little blessing to encourage me even more.

So after we decided on a name, we started talking to people. The main consultation we got was from the government Office of Social Welfare in Kasempa. To open a bank account and receive support for the orphanage, we need to be registered with the government, so the officials at Social Welfare told us what we needed to begin registering.

The main requirements are:
1. Show that the work is moving.
2. If no building is in place, present the building plan.
3. Write an orphanage "constitution" and submit it with an application to the Registrar of Societies in Lusaka (the capital city).

Fortunately, we had come prepared to begin building, so we got started on the first step right away. First, we had the plot of land cleared. That was a very interesting step in and of itself, because in Zambia, you can actually "hire" prisoners from the local jail to do heavy work. Since Enoch and Mildred's uncle in Kasempa is a police officer, it was easy for us to hire out the prisoners. For just about $45, we got the whole 50m x 50m plot cleared in about three hours. This meant cutting down all the 7-foot-high African grass and clearing out all the brush. Before, the land was impenetrable. After, we could walk around on it. I was very impressed.

Once that was done, we hired a big, yellow JCB dumptruck and went around buying the materials we would need to build the foundation: bricks, crushed stones, sand, and cement. Unfortunately, I couldn't be present for any of the actual price negotiations, because in Zambia, if they see a "Munzungu" (white person) they'll charge twice, thrice, or even five times as much. (Case in point, I tried to buy some 3-kwacha cookies on the bus once, and the guy selling them told me they were 15 kwacha.)

In the meantime, we also cleared the land a little more thoroughly, digging up tree stumps and gathering up the grass into piles to burn it.

By the time we were finished, we had a nice, open area surrounded with building materials and enough money leftover to pay a bricklayer to build the foundation.

With our role in the physical labor completed for the moment, we turned to the intellectual work of writing up an orphanage constitution. This turned out to be a very fun and interesting learning experience. The constitution basically describes how the orphanage will be run, specifying the duties of the board and the management, as well as what the goal will be. What do we want to provide these children? Who should we admit? Just children whose parents have died, or also children whose parents can't care for them? Who will be involved in this project? What things will the director decide directly, and what things will the board vote on? There were many questions to think about and decide.

Fortunately, I had the advice of my parents as well, who have experience with this kind of thing. We also had a model orphanage constitution to go by.

So where are we now? Physically, we're in Kitwe, which is where Enoch's family stays, between Kasempa and Lusaka. We have the constitution and application almost finalized. We have the building plan, and the work is ready to start. This Friday, Enoch and I will travel to Lusaka, where we'll submit the application, building plan, and constitution. At the same time, Mildred will travel to Kasempa with the bricklayer, who will build the foundation for the orphanage.

Of course, now that we've started work moving, we have to keep it moving. As a result, I've decided to cut my time in Zambia in half and return to work in the United States so I can fund the project. You see, we can't receive donations from churches and other organizations until we actually have something established, so until the building is up and children are being admitted, we're kind of on our own for finances. Because of this, I'll be back in the States by July, and I'll be working to personally support the project. Maybe we'll find other ways to fund it too. God has blessed it so far, and I trust Him to continue blessing it.

However, He will only continue to bless it if we keep our focus on Him. This orphanage isn't to glorify ourselves and say, "look how good we are, taking care of needy children." If it was about us, it would fail. No, it's to glorify God, and to be obedient to His command to care for orphans. God has a special love for orphans, and you'll find that they're mentioned in the Bible many times. He is the Father to the fatherless, and Jesus is the brother to those who have no family. In "House in the Wilderness", we will teach the children the Gospel of Christ, and we won't be ashamed to tell them of the hope Jesus offers. We can provide food, shelter, clothing, and education, but we can only offer so much in the way of family. However, if these children know Christ, they'll have a true Father, and a true Christian family. Romans 8:15-16 says to Christians, "For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, 'Abba! Father!' it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God." And again, in verse 29 it says, "For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn within a large family."

A large family...In Christ, even orphans can have a Father and a large family.

So when you pray for "House in the Wilderness", pray first and foremost that we will keep our focus on Christ. Nothing is more important. When we put God first, He will continue the bless the project, as He has so much already.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Coincidence? I Think Not!

Well, I'm here! Currently I'm staying in Kitwe, which is a major city in central Zambia. I'm eating nshima and cooked leaves, rice and tomatoes and onions. Everyone's being kind to me, and I'm getting along well. We're currently in the cold season, right at the end of the rainy season. Though it gets pretty cool at night, it's still hot during the day. I'm learning Bemba at the moment, which is the major language of Kitwe, but I picked up a little Nyanja in Lusaka, and most people can speak English.

So many wonderful things have happened so far that I can't even describe them all. Everything seems perfect. There is one particular, little incident, however, which blew my mind a little more than the rest. It's that anecdote which I plan to focus on, and I hope it'll give you a little idea of what good times I'm having here. :P

I have an old friend from the International Bible College of Zambia (IBCZ--see the link to Gospelink in the sidebar) named Omega. Now, Omega is just as awesome and cool as his name implies. I met him the first year I visited Zambia (2012), and I've seen him each time since. He's all-Zambian: loud, boisterous, assertive, friendly, dynamic, and jovial--quick to laugh and quick to declare his opinion and make that special flavor of jokes that's characteristic of Zambia. He's tall, grinning, and energetic. That's Omega in a nutshell.

Well, it so happened that in the second year I visited Zambia, it was Omega's last year at IBCZ. At the end of my stay there, he rode on the bus and declared with firm conviction: "THIS is the last time you will ever see me."

"Aww, are you sure?" I responded. He was quite sure.

The next year, when I returned, who should I meet In the Manda Hill Mall parking lot but Omega himself!

"I thought you said last year would be the last time I'd ever see you!" I shouted at him. We spent a little time laughing and catching up.

Then, Omega said, "This is definitely the last time you will ever see me!" and went on his merry way.

Come 2016. I'm in Lusaka. My friend Enoch has taken me into the inner city marketplace to exchange some dollars into Kwacha and run a few errands. It's a vast place: bustling with activity and commerce--shops and strip malls and open-air markets blending together as one.

I had finished my errands, and Enoch and I were waiting on a bus to take us back. I was looking out the window and chatting with Enoch about something when suddenly he pointed past me, saying, "But have you seen this one?"

"What one?" I replied, looking where he was pointing. I couldn't believe my eyes. There, walking along the side of the street was none other than Omega! He strode right past us without looking up, but the moment I got my wits about me, I shouted, "Omega!". He stopped, looking around in bewilderment. "Omega!" I repeated, and finally his gaze landed on me. I doubt he could believe his eyes either.

"What are you doing here?!" I demanded as we shook hands.

"What are you doing here?!" he retorted. His was probably the more reasonable question. I explained to him that I'd just arrived in Zambia the night before. He was surprised to see Enoch too.

"You told me in 2013 and in 2014 that that would be the last time I'd ever see you!" I said accusingly. My levels of jocularity were through the roof.

"This time for sure is definitely the last time you'll ever see me," he replied emphatically.

"Yes, we have to keep saying that--" I began, "So that..."

"No, this time for sure," he said.

After we'd caught up a bit, he went on his merry way.

Probably to show up again at some other unexpected place in a year or two.

So that's Omega.

Now, while "Coincidence? I think not!" is just a joke, I actually don't believe in chance. Everything happens for a reason, and maybe that reason is sometimes just for the sake of laughter and strengthened relationships.

"Everything happens for a reason," I think, is a pretty popular saying, but it actually isn't supported by most belief systems. I can only believe it because I believe in a personal, purposeful, and sovereign God.

Personal - God is aa Person. He can reason, have emotions, and act out intentions. He loves, He is jealous, He has desires and plans and actions. An impersonal fate, destiny, or karma may be said to make things happen, but can those things really have reason behind them? Only a Person has reasons.

Purposeful - God has a plan and purpose, and that purpose is ultimately to redeem the world and glorify His holy name. Our individual purposes in this life are toward that end, as well as, ultimately, everything that happens.

Sovereign - Of course, if God wasn't sovereign over events, His personhood and purposefulness would be irrelevant to the question of whether everything happens for a reason. In fact, He does command all creation. As my friend Lwando would say, "God is in CONTROL!"

So what does this mean to my little meeting with Omega? It means I can thank God for such a delightful encounter!

Monday, March 21, 2016

"Love Everything, Cling to Nothing"

     I believe this saying is attributed to St. Francis of Assisi. To tell the truth, I can't find it on a Google search, but it's still connected in my mind to St. Francis, who is my favorite saint--not because he loved animals, which seems to be the only thing most people know about him--but because he radically loved Jesus. Whether the phrase "Love everything, cling to nothing" is real or not, or whether St. Francis said it or not, it was still the way he lived. It's also an example I've been trying to follow for years now.

     We have a tendency as human beings to cling to things. All of us have some precious item that we couldn't imagine giving up, or perhaps it's a lifestyle, or a dream, or a project. Maybe we wouldn't let go of that thing--or several things--even if God told us to. At least, we feel that way. A good example of this for me is my stories. The idea of losing my stories is unspeakably awful to me, almost worse than anything else I could imagine. I'm extremely protective of them. I cling to them in fear lest all record of them is somehow deleted from my computer and the cloud and the external hard drives and USB ports where they're saved.

    There are other things I cling to as well: old toys, drawings I've made over the years, nostalgic trinkets, favorite books--Heaven forbid I lose my exact copy of Urchin and the Heartstone, with its special scent of Brother Flame's herbs! You could say that I horde nostalgia.
I can't let you go, Mokona Modoki!
     However, there's another part of me that just wants to give up everything, possessing only two sets of clothes and a Bible, like Braeton in one of the stories I'm writing. Or if not that, couldn't I at least have only one, little suitcase of possessions like Kobato?
"All I need is Ioryogi, my umbrella, and this tiny suitcase that probably only contains clothes!"
     I imagine monks living in mostly-empty rooms that are completely free of clutter, and wanderers traveling with only a wooden flute to keep them company. I dreamed that going to Zambia would make me more like these ideals, but when I started packing, I found that I not only had a lot of things that I wanted to bring, but also things I needed to bring. Shampoo, a towel, a blanket, clothes, books, notebooks, my computer...And the list just keeps growing. Besides, I just have to take Mokona and Urchin and the Heartstone and my Kobato DVDs...
How, then, do I escape an obligation to things? 

     I believe the answer lies in loving everything, but clinging to nothing. The Bible says in James 1:17, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." We're meant to be thankful for the good gifts God has given us, but we also need to place Him first, rather than things. When I leave for Zambia, I'll take what is practical, and I'll even take a few special things too, being thankful to God that I have them. However, if something won't fit in my suitcase, I can leave it behind without regret. If something breaks, or I lose it--no matter what it is--I can let it go, trusting that God is more valuable than any possession.

      But what about people? Does this apply to people too? Can we also say, "Love everyone, cling to no one"? I believe we can. I experience something of the same conflict with people as I do with things. I have many people who I love and cling to, and even "nostalgia" people who remind me of my childhood. When I go to Zambia, I know I'll miss them. Part of me wants to be in touch with them all the time, but like with things, another part of me wants to leave my American friends in America, and my Internet friends on the Internet, and focus completely on the people who will be in front of me in Zambia. I don't want the distraction of constantly throwing ties back to where I came from--after all, didn't people in the past not even have phones or the Internet? When they moved away, they only sent the occasional letter back to the folks at home, and besides, I don't think I'll have the money for much Internet time...But even so, there will be people who miss me, and I know I'll miss them too. So what's the balance?

     Again, the answer lies in loving everything, but clinging to nothing. I love the people I'm leaving behind as well as the people I'll meet when I'm there. While I don't know yet what the balance will be between focusing on who's in front of me and keeping in touch, I know I can entrust these relationships to God too. I can trust that He'll show me the balance: it will become clear enough if I love without clinging. To entrust anything to God is to loosen your grasp on it and no longer hold to it so tightly that it drags you down.

     Only by trusting God with everything can I be a truly "free spirit"--like a wanderer who possesses nothing, but delights in everything he comes across.
Fai D. Flowright comes to mind...
      Anything we cling to in this world besides Jesus keeps us from being free, but at the same time, we're called to love people radically and to delight in God's good gifts. I believe such a balance is possible in my life if I trust in God, and that balance takes away anxiety and replaces it with joy.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Well, Hello Again

       It looks like the last time I actually made a blog post here was, well, in 2011. In it, I promised to post "occasionally at least". I think that's adorable, seeing as it's 2016 now.

      In any case, I've always been very cynical of blogging, for absolutely no reason, but now as I prepare to leave for an extended stay in Zambia, Africa, I find its necessity pressing upon me. I want one place where I can keep all my friends and family updated on how I'm doing.

      Well, that's the main purpose of this blog right now.

      If you don't know me, Hi. I'm Songmorning--also known as Songy or Sing-song, also known as Jessica "Jesmar" Mwamba, and in a few scattered places as Bridget Maxwell or Faith Candleflame. But all in all, I'm Songmorning. That's my identity on the Internet, and it has been ever since I started making online friends in dear old Dawnie's "Clans of the Amazon".

     I'm an extremely motivated person who's always bursting with joy, stories, and thoughts on philosophy, theology, literature, and psychology. I love people, but most of all I love Jesus. More than anything, I want everyone to see just how much value they have in being created in the image of God, and I want everyone to have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. I want to serve Jesus by spreading the Gospel to all the world--especially to Zambia, which is the country where I want to live. I have dreams, and I live to pursue those dreams and follow the purpose and meaning God has for my life. I see meaning and beauty everywhere, and--well, it's no wonder I'm so joyful.

     Still, if you read some of my stories, you'll find that I balance that joy out with a sober contemplation of human nature, of sin, of Hell, and of the horrible suffering of this fallen world. I'm not all daisies and butterflies. I find many horror stories to be profound, and nihilistic, absurdist art is a deep insight into human nature.

     But I would have to be that way for what I wish to do. I want to work with orphans in Zambia. I want to experience poverty first-hand and comfort the worst suffering of a motherless, dying child. To do something like that, I have to have an awareness of the dark realities of life.

    In the end, all I need is Christ, and all I have is Christ. No one was more aware of sin and suffering than Christ--yet at the same time, no one was more hopeful. I follow Him.

   So that's me in a nutshell. I hope to see you again! :)

Friday, March 25, 2011

Hallo

I just joined. I'm a Christian, and I really really love Jesus!

I'm not very good at keeping up with things on the Internet so I don't know how often I'll post, but I will post occassionally at least.

~Songmorning